Maybe you’re struggling with this whole ‘dating thing’ after being in a relationship for a long time… perhaps challenged by one or many of these things:
- You’re over 45 and feel there are a lot of differences between you and your 25 year old self
- You’re unsure how to describe yourself, write a good profile, and articulate what you really want in a new relationship
- You’re terrified of being misunderstood through what’s in or left our of your profile
- Frustrated with being winked at or smiled at but nothing further happens
- How does it really work when the last time you were dating tinder hadn’t even been thought of yet
- You have no idea how to decide on the right online dating options to suit your style.
Yup, I’ve Been There Too:
I first tried online dating back in 2006. I’d just turned 40 and felt old, redundant and invisible to the opposite sex. I once joked that it would be nice to get my bum pinched again just to know I still had potential. People my age know how that feels – younger people would immediately be inspired to think ‘harassment’ by such a comment. But when you’re facing your aging-self in the mirror each day after being in a relationship, it’s hard when the landscape is so complex compared with 20 -30 years ago.
I was successful at this online dating thing back then – albeit only for a couple of years, then I was single again, and navigating the terrain once more. Then I moved to Australia and found it even harder. I’ve done the ‘meet ups’, dance classes, parents at sporting events, and several online dating sites, and once again I found success. As a widowed single parent, alone for the better part of two decades, I’ve certainly done my fair share of ‘research’ before arriving at this happy place. And – successfully dating and forming a new relationship is not always going to be where your idea of a happy place is. Some of us are perfectly happy being single with a few friends. And some of us are also still good friends with people from past relationships.
I personally tried online dating again a year ago and have an extraordinary relationship with a delicious man. I also have helped a few friends over the years to achieve this kind of outcome.
I talked with one woman a few years ago – she was in her 60s then and had 4-5 boyfriends. One for the camping and great outdoors, one for the opera and theatre, one to enjoy regular fine dining and good sex with, and another for traveling overseas with a couple of times a year. Oh yes, she had it all worked out and had been happily living that lifestyle for nearly 15 years. All her boyfriends knew about each other – she only had sex with two of them, and one of them might even have been gay. But that worked for her, and for them.
Whatever you think your ideal outcomes are for venturing into the world of dating and relationships again, it will be personal to you.
First things first, have you even decided what you want?
Until you know what you want, how can you be sure you’re ready to be part of someone else’s life? What are you offering? Simply casting your net wide is likely to give you more options for meeting someone, but what about narrowing down the fishing methods a little and working out how to attract someone you’re actually going to really like, or maybe even fall in love with.
If you’re just feeling stuck, or frustrated by all this, perhaps some dedicated mentoring by someone who knows how to navigate the challenging terrain successfully is your best option going forward.
This will potentially save you time, frustration, and narrow your focus to something that really works for you.
My mentoring service is a little different to most ‘dating coaches’.
Not only am I focused on what works for 45-65 year old men and women, I’m mindful of how important intimacy, sexuality, and pleasure is in any kind of relationship. I’m also a writer, and can help with profiles and dating/new relationship tips etc.
Qualified and Experienced Coach
As a certified life and business coach with 15+ years’ experience, I have a range of special tools at my fingertips to also help you identify what you want, where you are aiming in the next phase of your life, and what it will take to get you there.
- Casting off The Mooring Lines – One off or Introduction Special
- Holding Your Hand Through the Swampy Bits (3 months)
- Guiding You Through the Rough Seas (As long as you need this)
With me you get to discover things about yourself, your wants, needs, desires, and fears around dating and being single. You’re options to venture into online dating, or figuring out how to talk to that person you keep running into at the markets, or what it means when they say ‘hey, would you like to … sometime’, and how to prepare for that first date.
You can even chat with me about how that went the next day if you want to.
Navigating the murky seas of ‘what to wear, what to say, is he this, does she like that, how to interpret vs overthinking is easier with a cheerleader you can vent with, learn from, trust implicitly to help guide you towards a new confidence. Sexually, socially, and in your more personal communications.
Some of the tools I use include:
- Goal Setting,
- Dating Guides and Ideas.
You can expect – and are guaranteed – Total Confidentiality.
I am not going to become your new best friend, but better – because I won’t just tell you what you want to hear. Instead I’ll guide you towards who you really want to be in your next relationship.