Our life is made up of so many stories. We all have stories to share – and some of brilliant, mystical, dramatic, sad, happy, and weird. There are the coincidences, the synchronicity, the unusual moments in time, the pregnant pauses in our journeys and all of these contribute to our reflecting back on our lives and deciding on the good vs bad times.
One of the things that I learned early in my coaching training, many years ago, is that those things you leave unresolved, will usually be the things that trip you up sometime down the line. The people you upset, the missed opportunities, the relationship failures, the friendships thwarted. These are the things that will likely offend your memories one day, no matter how hard you think you dealt with these at the time.
Who would you most like to run into one day and have a follow up conversation with? For me, it’s a teacher named Elsie Davidson, who at the age of 12, reminded me that ‘close enough is not necessarily good enough’. A powerful lesson and I still sometimes hear her voice chiding me when I ‘almost’ complete something I set out to do.
Who do you secretly fear running into? Why? What needs to be resolved there?
How you review the chapters in your life depend on the people and circumstances, but it’s worth taking time to consider those you would love to or fear to encounter again in the future. Sometimes you have to take a good look at why and reflect on your own contribution to the story.
Exhaustion, stress, misunderstandings, other people, are all contributing factors to negative outcomes, but most can be resolved.
Resolution in a chapter of your life is not about necessarily showing up with an apology. It may be simply that you decide to forgive and get over it. Forgiveness can be a powerful tool. As can gratitude.
Someone said to me a few weeks ago that I might want to thank someone who actually messed up a big chunk of my year in 2017 due to indecisiveness, causing a huge amount of stress and disruption for me. However the overall outcomes for me as a result of this person’s actions have been extraordinary and I’m grateful on many levels for the change in direction this created. Perhaps one day soon I’ll tell them so.
How you resolve any form of conflict, whether it’s a personal issue, work, as a parent or child, other family matters, or financial can also have a positive impact on your long term health. Stress is quite simply a killer, depending on it’s severity. Even something that seems relatively benign can have lasting metaphysical effects on us.