They say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, and the way to win a girl over is with diamonds, flowers, and a little romance.  I have known a lot of men who equate this to also mean, if you want to get into a woman’s pants, buy her something!

Cue the exaggerated eyeroll … and appropriate response of ‘Puhleezzze!’

So – forget all that.  And I know I’m harking back a bit to the Languages of Love concept, but hey it’s worth repeating.   If your partner’s primary language of love is gifts, then maybe you should stop reading here – because this may not apply to you. But for everyone else, lean in, and listen up.   The real way to get your love’s hands on attention is to invest in some basic down-home thoughtfulness.

Personally, I have always disliked flowers – they die.   For me, yes I like the thoughtfulness behind the gesture, but flowers in the house remind me of funerals, and as a young widow once, this is not going to have me melting into your arms anytime soon.  Not even a dozen red roses on Valentines day – I’d rather you cook me a lovely meal.   You see – my love language is acts of service.    The thoughtfulness of your actions are likely to speak volumes, and get straight to your love’s tender heart over a range of things.   But – if Flowers are your partner’s thing, then the very act of stopping to buy them, (or pick them) is maybe one of the sweetest things you can do.

It’s about investing in your relationship.  Getting to know what will make your partner think you’ve put some serious thought into what he or she is going to appreciate.   Not because it’s their birthday, or anniversary.  I know many people who insist on only a card, ever, because they can keep them in a special box and take them out and read them over the years.   I know when I’m one day going to have to pack up and move into a tiny retirement home or hospital ward, that’s something I’d like to have with me.  Not the dead flowers.

What ever makes your lover smile, swoon with pleasure, want to make love with you and give generously of him or herself, do that!  take time to figure out what that is, and do more of it.  Invest in your relationship – you’ll be amazed at how well that investment can pay back.

Why not explore more about what really makes your partner feel loved, appreciated and yes, even apologized to.   This might make all your forward journeys together a lot easier to navigate!