Category Archives for "Opinion"

Sense and Sensibilities

A few years ago, a movie was released called Sense and Sensibility – about a couple of dippy 18th century sisters facing financial ruin.  The tale of them and their suitors was a popular book by Emily Bronte and was considered to be quite ‘out there’ when first published.

Sexual appropriation has become far more common since the 1800s, but there a handful of idiosincrasies with variying impacts that the  sexually enlighted still deal with today. It seems that the general response towards conversations revolving around  sex or sexuality are met with a similar discourse regardless of whether the conversation being had is about kissing or more explicit sexual conduct.

Many well meaning parents and activists, have deemed that only the negative side of the conversation is noteworthy, making it harder to weigh in with any form of positive and healthy response. So must we fight against everything sexually related with all our might?

Some recent examples I’ve come across:

The idea of boys in changing rooms being exposed to other older boys or (horror) naked men, while taking a shower after a swim might terribly offend the senses of mothers of said boys.  An article posted in Mama Mia this week spoke of women being worried that boys and men are far less concerned about their nakedness than women are purported to be.   Women after all, are less likely to walk bravely naked Continue reading

Making time for making time together

Photo by Toa Heftiba on UnsplashImagine it’s Wednesday, and unexpectedly you have the day off.   It’s a week day, so you could probably justify all the reasons you should be catching up on errands, visiting a family member, lunch with a friend, or getting on top of that mess in the spare bedroom.  But what about making time together with your partner, to just be together.  To connect, share some space.   When was the last time you sat together and just held hands while you enjoyed that extra cup of coffee and read the paper to each other?  Why not take some time to simply take a long shower together this morning, and even go straight back to bed, to indulge in some long, uninhibited, noisy love making? Maybe even indulge in seconds so that those multiple orgasms are triggered and enjoyed?

On the weekend, if not working, there are a dozen or more things you can do. Every day after work or early morning, there are a million reasons to not take time to enjoy horizontal time out together.  Months can go by and you’re only having sex once or twice a week, if you’re lucky and it’s become a release, or quiet, quick affirmation to each other rather than a full expression of love for each other.

This is the kind of thing we need to prioritise.   Time for making time together.  To indulge in pleasure, taking the time to do that well.  To step into the space we hold open for each other to be fulfilled.

When you first start a new relationship – or go back to a ‘honeymoon phase’ within an existing relationship you make this kind of time for each other.  It’s new, it’s exciting, you can’t get enough of each other.  The sex is good, you’re exploring.   You’re indulging and learning.  So, who said you had to get on with life and stop doing that?   No one.   Over time, we default to the ‘basics’ and settle for what’s necessary, not what we truly want for or with each other.  Sometimes we have to just take the bull by the horns and say – enough, time for US and if we need to schedule it like we would anything else in our lives of importance, that’s what we’ll do.  And we’ll commit to that.  Because we know if we were new at this relationship we would have no problem with doing that.

If you don’t do this, before you know it, years have gone by and you’re barely functioning as a high functioning loving couple any more – instead you’re just doing what needs to be done, and dissatisfaction starts to take over – at least for one partner. When that happens, if you’re not willing or able to make time for togetherness that really counts, then you’ll be having to navigate doing that with another partner anyway, so why not just prioritise the relationship you’re already in.  😊


For more about this, join the discussion on our FB Group – Horizontal Happiness

#horizontalhappiness  #thatsexbook


I’ve Something to Say About The Current Mess of American Politics

I’ve got something to say. It’s about the media.   And it’s not pretty… in fact I’m going to use some colourful words.

This morning I watched an interview with a Republican candidate in the USA, discussing his personal disgust over Donald Trump’s actions and attitudes and how that not only makes him feel about Trump, leadership, presidency responsibility etc, but how it may affect his  ability to support his proposed own party leader.   He made a great statement towards the end of the interview about the media’s responsibility for what I’d like to call the ‘Current Mess of American Politics’ or CMAP for short.

You see what Senator Rubio has said is basically that while he has been campaigning for a few months now, making policy speeches etc, the media have all but ignored him until he finally decided to be open about his views on Trump and suddenly he’s headlining everywhere because the media see this as good for ratings.

And it’s true.  The only real news we’re even getting outside the USA on social media (and mainstream to a high degree too) is ‘what Trump is doing/saying now’, or ‘who’s saying stuff about Trump’.    So what does that tell us about the actual presidential race?  How is this serving the world population who actually want to know what’s really going on?  How’s Hilary doing?  Who’s her running mate again?  What’s Obama up to?

I also went to see the movie Spotlight a few weeks ago, and saw a representation of how real journalists identified, tracked down, and presented a story of human interest in Boston based on the Catholic Church’s cover up of Pedophile priests.   It’s a marked difference to the kind of dumbass journalist crap we get served up to us on a regular basis in this decade.  I wonder how die-hard investigative reporters are viewing this frenzied media ‘Trump Circus’.

How is it that we have allowed journalists to only portray the news that is sensationalized, delivered in bullet points and abbreviated headlines?  Why are we not calling to account the people who are charged with ensuring we know what’s really going on?

Being a journalist was (and I believe for many it still is) an honorable profession.  We globally allow (and encourage) our reporters to go places, talk to people, and learn about things including war, suffering, controversial information first hand, under a passage of safety (behind enemy lines) to ensure we are well informed and therefore able to make wise decisions. This has been the way of things for at least 10 decades.  We could trust journalists to tell it the way it is.  To ensure we could trust them and their view point or news facts, they are honour-bound to protect their sources, and to tell the truth.

What happened?

Why is Kim Kardashian’s body image of greater importance than breast feeding rights for mothers in public? Why is Donald Trump winning on popularity via the media over Ted Cruz?  You only have to turn on the TV and see Saturday Night Live, and John Oliver slamming the current politcal arena to see there’s a real problem looming.   But why are we so caught up in this junk-media and ignoring the real stories of refuges, war, missing children, violence in homes, poverty, and people who are actively doing something about these issues everywhere.

And most of all, why is it that with so much growing concern over the possibility of Donald Trump actually becoming the President of the USA, despite such blatant controversy and even warnings from his own party’s senator Rubio, why are we not seeing real journalists joining the fight for our rights to experience ‘real news’ and even draw comparisons over what’s happening in the USA and other countries in the past who have voted in village idiots and narcissists to head offices and the subsequent disasters that’s lead to.   Remember a guy called Adolf Hitler – a great orator who mocked, provoked the anger of the people into agreeing with his views and policies for change.

In my view – and I’m not a journalist, only an opinionated blogger – our media have fallen short of expectations in terms of quality news sharing for a long time now.  It’s time we the masses stopped allowing this to happen simply because news editors are under pressure to get ratings up, so that the profitablity is up for media moguls and shareholders.  Because really that is what it comes down to isn’t it!?

You decide!

What kind of world do you want to live in in 10 years from now?  Because the media will be ultimately responsible for the shape of things to come.